Thursday, June 2, 2016

38 week update

These pictures were taken about a month ago, I think when I was 32 weeks? It was important for me to have at least a few posed pictures of my bump to commemorate this time. I had also just gone through my second bout of self-pity--sitting on my bedroom floor surrounded by piles of clothes that no longer fit and crying and then feeling silly that I was crying because it's frankly ridiculous--and so a maternity photoshoot where I had an excuse to play dress-up and remind myself of my love for this bump was definitely in order. So one unseasonably warm day, my sister and I snapped a series of photos in a couple different outfits--one a typical everyday outfit, and one that was a little more fancy (it's actually her bridesmaid's dress from my wedding...which is maybe a bit odd, but I love how it flatters my bump!). I was sweaty and grumpy by the time we finished (I don't think heat ever made me this grumpy before I was pregnant!), but it was fun, and I'm really happy with the pictures we got.
It's hard to believe that I'm already 38 weeks, that I've just hit term. I'm so close, and everything is feeling so much more real. She's positioned head-down, ready for birth, and really...could come at any time now. It really sunk in for Josh yesterday, and I think it was the first time I've seen him nervous throughout my whole pregnancy. Right now, I'm oddly calm about the whole thing, and feeling more ready than I thought I would at this point...mostly I'm just excited and feel so ready to be done, and have her in my arms. With each flurry of Braxton Hicks (which have gotten more fun lately, and by fun I mean not, haha) I wonder if this might be it, but nothing yet. So we continue to play the waiting game. My mother in law and my dad are convinced that she's going to come at least a week late since she's the first baby, but I'm really hoping that since I dropped so early, and dropped a bit more over the last week, that's an indicator she will at least be a little closer to on time than that. 
 However, as I reflect on my pregnancy, other than the stress I was under for the entire first half, I have been so very blessed to have a relatively "easy" complications, hardly any morning sickness, hardly any of the symptoms I was especially dreading. There was about a month during my second trimester that work was especially awful because of joint pain--I could hardly walk at the end of my shifts! But that got better, and there was a lovely space of time where I felt amazing and energetic and I felt I could really enjoy being pregnant. Now that time has kind of passed and the joint pain has returned along with raging heartburn (which I whined about, since I'd never experienced it before), and I feel really pregnant and just ready to be done. I wound up leaving work about two weeks earlier than I had initially decided, due to those and other factors, which made me feel a bit guilty, but at the same time, it was definitely the right decision. I feel her moving almost all the time, which is honestly one of the things I think I'll miss the most about being pregnant. It's so bewildering to think that the thing squirming inside me is a little human, and it just puts me in awe of how miraculous and beautiful this whole process is.